By Sean Corcoran and Teddy Graham, Potpourri
I’m a newshound. Plain and simple. And Teddy has always had a nose for a scoop. Some have compared us to a modern day Woodward and Bernstein, investigative trailblazers with a penchant for the printed word.
Needless to say, we were absolutely transfixed by the recent story of former felon and panhandler, Ted Williams. In the span of 48 hours, this street urchin has gone from the local Columbus recidivist to celebrated voice announcer. Teddy and I must admit that this man’s larynx must have been quilted from God’s own thread spool, and his vocal cords anointed with holy water and frankincense. As Williams fields offers from the likes of Kraft, MTV and the Cleveland Cavaliers, it’s clear the American people are suckers for a redemptive comeback story.
Ted Williams 1 week ago. And, inevitably, Ted Williams 5 weeks from today.
Teddy’s question, if he may be so bold, is “Has the American media juggernaut gone too far?” I caught a television interview where Williams, a recovering alcohol and drug addict, said “I wish I could take a nervous pill, but the Today Show’s psychologist said that wasn’t a good idea.” Admittedly, I had a bit of a chuckle at this statement as I watched Williams stoop to hug his estranged mother and praise the Lord for his kindness. I certainly don’t think a man who was living in a tent a week ago has the “chops” to voice announce every Cavaliers game, but hey, you never know.
"I don't need a nervous pill, I don't need a nervous pill, I don't need a nervous pill, I don't need a nervous pill..."
The fast paced American media is already preparing Williams for his inevitable downfall. Hopped up on fame and attention, this poor soul will eventually burn out, relapse and slide back into his hole; his fame is their creation, and his destruction their encore.
Postscript – Good luck to Mr. Williams as he reprises Wolfman Jack’s role in American Graffiti. Out of sight!
2losers 